Don't Be A Dick
Don't Mind the Mess.. I Suck as a Housewife
Fold Your Worries into Paper Planes and Turn Them Into Flying Fucks
How Much Dip Would A Dipshit Dip If A Dipshit Could Dipshit?
I Was Addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I've Turned Myself Around
Keep Your Bitchin' Out of My Kitchen
Life Is Not A Fairytale, If You Lose Your Shoe At Midnight, You're Drunk!
Mr. Rogers Did Not Adequately Prepare Me for the People in My Neighborhood
Some People Just Need a High Five. In the Face. With a Chair.
The Dishes Are Looking at Me Dirty Again
This is Our Happy Place, Don't F*ck it Up!
What the Fork is for Dinner?
When Life Knocks You Down, Stand Back Up and Say You Hit Like a Bitch
When You Can be Anything in Life, an Asshole Seems Like an Odd Choice
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